How we treat each other.
The short version
Gather is built on trust. Trust between you and us, and trust between you and the strangers you'll meet at events. The rules below protect that trust. They're enforced strictly — not as a deterrent, but because the people who break them ruin the experience for everyone else.
The promise behind these rules: a real person — usually Arthur — reads every report we receive and responds within 24 hours. If something at a Gather event isn't right, you'll be heard, and we'll act. That's not a marketing line. That's the whole job.
What Gather is for, and what it isn't
Gather is for adults who want to make real friends in their city through shared interests and small group events. That's it. It's not a dating app. It's not a networking platform. It's not a place to find leads, recruit talent, or build a personal brand.
This matters because the experience changes completely depending on what people show up wanting. Members come to Gather expecting friendly conversation, shared activity, and the chance to meet a few people they actually enjoy spending time with. Showing up with a different agenda — looking for dates, looking for clients, looking for an audience — pulls the whole table in a direction it didn't sign up for.
Connections that develop naturally between members are great, including romantic ones if they're mutual and consensual. What's not okay is treating a Gather event as an opportunity to pursue someone who didn't come for that.
What we expect from you
Show up on time, or let us know you can't. Be curious about the people you meet. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Pay your share of the bill without making it weird. Read the room and notice when someone seems uncomfortable. Assume the best of people, and behave in a way that lets them assume the best of you.
When you disagree with someone at the table — about politics, work, what to order, anything — disagree like an adult. We don't expect everyone to be best friends after one dinner. We do expect everyone to leave feeling respected.
The bright lines
Some behaviors result in immediate removal from Gather — no warning, no second chance, no refund. We've drawn these lines clearly so there's no ambiguity about what's off-limits:
Grounds for immediate removal
Any one of the following will result in your account being closed and banned by phone number.
- Sexual or romantic advances after someone has indicated disinterest — verbally, by changing the subject, by physically moving away, or by leaving. "No" is final the first time. Persistence after rejection is harassment, full stop.
- Unwanted physical contact of any kind, including touching, hugging, or kissing without clear consent.
- Discriminatory behavior — slurs, harassment, or hostility based on race, gender, sexuality, religion, body, disability, age, or national origin.
- Aggressive or threatening behavior toward another member, Gather staff, or venue staff. This includes shouting, intimidation, and any threat of physical harm.
- Contacting a member outside Gather after they've asked you not to. Showing up at someone's workplace, repeatedly messaging them on social media after being blocked, or finding their address — all immediate removal.
- Sharing another member's contact information, photo, or personal details without their consent.
- Pressuring others to drink, take drugs, leave the venue with you, share personal information, or do anything they've said they don't want to do.
- Showing up severely intoxicated to the point that you can't engage respectfully with the group.
- Deception about identity — signing up under a fake name, using someone else's photo, or misrepresenting your age. Includes signing up as someone else.
- Using Gather to solicit, sell, recruit, or promote — pitching your business, network marketing, religious recruitment, political campaigning, or anything similar.
- Three no-shows in a row, or three same-day cancellations in a month. We hold reservations for groups; flaking repeatedly affects everyone else.
For behaviors that don't cross a bright line but still affect the group — dominating conversation, being persistently negative, ignoring the activity to be on your phone — we may issue a warning, change which events you can attend, or ask you to take a break before returning. We try to be fair about the gray area. We don't apologize for being firm about the bright lines.
Showing up well
A few small things that aren't quite rules but make a big difference to the people around you:
- Don't take photos of other members without asking. Some people are private about being on apps like Gather; not everyone wants their face on your Instagram story.
- Don't try to figure out which Gather group is which at the venue. The reveal is part of the experience. Let it land naturally.
- If you're early, wait at the bar. Don't sit down at the wrong table and start an awkward conversation with someone else's group.
- Split the bill fairly. If the venue can split checks, great. If not, use Venmo. Don't make the group wait while you calculate exactly what you ordered down to the dollar.
- If you have to leave early, leave well. Say goodbye to the table, settle your tab, don't ghost.
- If you connect with someone you'd like to see again, ask before assuming. A simple "I had a great time, want to swap numbers?" works. Asking the whole table to be in a group chat works too. Slipping someone your number across the table while their date — wait, never mind, you're not on a date.
How to report something
If anything at a Gather event makes you uncomfortable — during or after — let us know. There are three ways:
- Text us. Reply to any Gather message with what happened. Your reply goes straight to support.
- Email support@gathertext.com. Include as much detail as you're comfortable sharing.
- Use the contact link on gathertext.com if you'd rather not reply by text.
You don't need evidence. You don't need a perfectly remembered account. You don't need to have said something at the time. Your description of what happened is enough for us to take it seriously and look into it.
Reports are confidential. We don't tell the person being reported who reported them, and we don't share details with other members. The only exception is if the situation involves an imminent threat of harm — in which case we may need to involve appropriate authorities, and we'll let you know if that happens.
What happens after a report
We respond within 24 hours, usually faster. Here's what typically happens:
- For bright-line violations, we close the reported account immediately. The person is told that their account has been closed for violating Community Guidelines, but not the specifics of the report or who filed it. They cannot create a new account on the same phone number.
- For less-clear situations, we may reach out to other members of the group, ask follow-up questions, and use our judgment. We're not running a courtroom — we're protecting the community. We err on the side of removing someone if there's a credible report and a pattern, even without a single clear violation.
- We follow up with you to let you know what we decided and why. You won't always agree with the call, but you'll always know one was made.
- We log every report internally, even ones that don't result in removal. Patterns matter. A behavior that looks like a one-off the first time looks different when it's the third report about the same person.
The hard cases
Most situations are clear. A few aren't, and it's worth being honest about how we handle the harder ones:
What if I'm not sure if it crossed a line? Report it anyway. We'd rather review a borderline case than miss a real one. We won't penalize anyone for an honest report that turns out to be a misread situation.
What if I'm worried about retaliation? Reports are confidential. If you're concerned someone might guess it was you, tell us — we can be more careful about how we frame the conversation with the reported person, or simply close their account without much explanation.
What if someone reports me unfairly? We take every report seriously, but we don't auto-remove people based on one ambiguous complaint. If we have questions, we'll ask you directly. If we conclude there's nothing to act on, your account is unaffected and the report isn't used against you later.
What if I had a bad time but no one did anything specifically wrong? Sometimes a group just doesn't click. That's not anyone's fault, and we don't want anyone removed for it. Tell us what didn't work so we can match you better next time, and try another group.
Our final word
These guidelines exist because the alternative — a platform that lets bad behavior slide to preserve user counts — is the platform that gradually becomes unsafe for the people we most want to serve. We've watched other apps make that trade. We're not making it.
If you're the kind of person who reads this page and thinks "good, this is what I'd want," welcome. We're glad you're here, and we'll do our part to make Gather worth showing up for.
If you're the kind of person who reads this page and feels like the rules are too strict, Gather probably isn't the right fit for you. We'd rather lose you up front than lose the trust of everyone else later.
Contact
Questions about these guidelines, or want to talk through a situation? Email support@gathertext.com. A real person reads every message.
Gather Text LLC
Dallas, Texas